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Expert Advice From
Lynne Santiago
 SexEd Expert Advice Feed

Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC

Have A Question For Lynne? Send our experts a note and we will be glad to assist you in anyway! Ask Us Here >

Q. ME and my boyfriend have been dating for four years. At first the sex was great, but like in all rel ... Read More »
Q. Hi Lynn, i get so jealous of my boyfriends porno. I feel like he spends all of this time finding the ... Read More »
Q. Lynn, My husband and I have been married for 7 years and when we first started having sex I didn't e ... Read More »
Q. My spouse and I have been married nearly 10 years and we now only have sex one time a year. We are b ... Read More »
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Im 21 and he is 20 When we started dati ... Read More »
Q. I don't know if you'd be able to answer my question. It took me while to realize from my past sexual ... Read More »
Q. I have been married to same man for 27 yrs. i love him but we haven't had sex in the last 3 and half ... Read More »
Q. Hello my question is, When my boyfriend and I first met our sex life was amazing some times we do it ... Read More »
Q. Am 24 and have not had sex in more than 10 year.I decided to wait for the right partner. Recently I ... Read More »
Q. Hi! Sex with my wife has become nonexistent. Mainly my fault. I have become tired of satisfying her, ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, I'm not sure if you could answer this but.. when my boyfriend and i have sex a very l ... Read More »
Q. Hi Lynne, First I am 47 years old and my husband is 45. We have been married almost 2 years and l ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, I have never had an orgasm and can't figure out why. What does it feel like? Do you a ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, For as long as I remember, I've never ejaculated while having vaginal intercourse. I' ... Read More »
Q. I'm 21 and I have a small penis. It's about 4 inches long when hard. I'm scared to have sex because ... Read More »
Q. I have been diabetic for a few years now and even though I am on meds for it I have completely lost ... Read More »
Q. I have a question: My husband has been pushing me to have anal sex. I keep saying no. I am afraid th ... Read More »
Q. What is the correct way to perform cunnilingus? Or is there a basic technique that needs customizing ... Read More »
Q. I have been with this girl for about six months. We have a decent sexual relationship but I think we ... Read More »
Q. Lynne, ok, so i have heard many different things about having sex while on your period!! My question ... Read More »
Q. Hi, I just have a few questions I was wondering if I could get some feed back on. I heard that if yo ... Read More »
Q. My husband (age 50) died 2 yrs ago in October. We were married nearly 30 years. I was hoping that my ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, At 55 (me) and 52, my wife & I still enjoy sex, but she gets a urinary infection eve ... Read More »
Q. Q. I’m having an embarrassing problem. My Vagina seems to get dry during intercourse, and it becomes ... Read More »
Q. My boyfriend disapproves using a vibrator. Is it bad to use it at all? ~ N.B. ... Read More »
Q. I have discovered that my clitoris has gotten smaller or shrinking. Have you ever heard of such a th ... Read More »
Q. I have been with this girl for about six months. We have a decent sexual relationship but I think we ... Read More »
Q. How normal is it to be attracted to or fantasize about other people? ... Read More »
Q. Is there any advice on how to get over a sex addition or a way to convince my husband that he has a ... Read More »
Q. Does a man's & woman's pheromone need to match to become excited by each other or is it just the sme ... Read More »
Q. Hello Lynn, I have been married for seven years and my husband is in the military and recently retur ... Read More »
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for 8 1/2 years. When we started to have sex, every time we did i ... Read More »

10 Steps To A Stronger & Longer Erection

    Posted by John Fidi on 01/19/2007

It's the eternal quest: How do you increase the size, strength and stamina of your erections? There are endless treatments, ointments and devices claiming to pump up your volume, but precious few solutions hold any water. The reality is that we're blessed (or possibly cursed) with whatever God gave us. But if you follow the realistic tips below, you can maximize your erection on all fronts.

These tips could come in handy when you know in advance that you're going to have sex, as you'll be well-informed and prepared. You can make your penis go the distance instead of being a "one and done" guy.

1- Eat well
Raising a massive erection is an expensive proposition for your body. Blood and hormones all take up valuable nutrients. So good nutrition is key for those looking to having sex multiple times. Carbohydrates, being the building block of energy, are essential. Our sexual needs require eating carbs and plenty of them! Pasta and bread are solid carb sources. You also need to ingest zinc every day. Zinc is vital for production of testosterone, seminal fluid and sperm. You can find this mineral in liver, seafood, peas, and beans. Or take a zinc supplement.

Avoid high fat meals before sex. Excess fat intake lowers testosterone levels in your body, decreases libido and makes erection and ejaculation more difficult. And an unhealthy diet may lead to poor circulation and hence erection problems. Avoid overeating and stuffing yourself before sex. If you're going out for dinner together, don't gulp down a five-course meal with wine and dessert, at least not if you know you're going to have sex later on that night. Eat at least one hour before sex so you are properly digested.

2- Get positioned properly
Sexual positions where you are on top, like missionary and doggy style, allow more blood flow and a bigger, sturdier erection. It's gravity, simple as that. So don't do it in positions with her on top at first. The tug of gravity will drain the blood from your erection. Having her on top also gives her control of the movement, so it may lead to your loss of control in well more than one way.

3- Limit your sensitivity to go longer
The classic way to limit oversensitivity is to wear a condom, which you should be doing anyway. If you don't need to wear a condom with your woman, you can try focusing on other things. Periodically take yourself out of the scene mentally if you think you're going to lose control. The trick is to transport your mind away just long enough to avoid ejaculating too early, but not lose your erection.

4- Try this device
Most penis enlargement devices are painful, scary and terribly ineffective. There are, however, always those faithful who claim these extreme techniques give them big results. The safest and best bet amongst these is the ever-dependable penis ring. This is a little rubber or plastic ring you place at the base of your penis to trap blood inside, kind of like tying off a balloon. This won't make you bigger, but it will make your penis firmer.

5- Manage any medication you are on
Medication for some ailments such as depression, social phobia, OCD, and anxiety are more and more common these days. These medicines are murder on your erection. If you're on these types of drugs, work with your doctor to make sure you're not over-medicated, or it's goodbye sex life.

6- Save your strength
Don't tire yourself out too quickly in the sack. If you exhaust yourself, your erection is going to feel like a marshmallow. Know your limits.

7- Calm your nerves
Too much anxiety and nervous energy can shrink your penis like a cotton T-shirt. Unfortunately, sex is often riddled with anxiety resulting from a negative body image, a fear of intimacy or concerns about having a small member. This "stage fright" always seems to happen at the worst possible time, like the first time with someone new. So it's pretty essential that you find a way to make yourself comfortable if you're prone to bouts of nervousness during sex. The best way is to practice with many different women until you're comfortable (I kid, or do I?).

8- Exercise, exercise, exercise
Do abdominal exercises. This will help your abdominal muscles support and hold your erection, as opposed to holding your belly. Furthermore, if you have a large gut, it tends to make your unit small by comparison. Being in shape and having a good physique will make you feel good about yourself and up your confidence. This will, in turn, make you comfortable with your body, enticing you to have sex and increasing your sex drive. You can also give your penis a workout with some Kegel exercises. While there's no hard evidence that they will produce a larger size, they will help you stay hard longer.

9- Don't smoke & drink to excess
Smoking cigarettes gives you bad circulation. And when you want to get down, the blood's gotta be flowing. So there's one more reason to quit. Drinking too much alcohol numbs your wiener and can inflate your prostate. So don't tap the keg if you want to tap her.

10- Don't masturbate too often
You want to save your money-shot for Miss Right, not Mr. Five Fingers. If you ever needed an excuse not to masturbate, that's it. This calls for a little self-control and most of us have that, right?


Keep it healthy, keep it hard


As long as men are unhappy with their size, they'll always be looking for a way to "make it big." Though limitless snake oil-potions and questionable techniques will claim to increase your size or give you a bull's libido, the best approach is to be well-fed, energetic and honestly attracted to the woman you're with.

Too many of us choose partners where the sex becomes routine, forced and boring. If the scent of her perfume make you think about sex, even if she's nowhere in sight, you're on the right track.

SOURCE: Oskar McHendry, Sex Education Correspondent, AskMen.com

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