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Healthy families care about the fitness of their relationships.

When couples are satisfied with their relationship, they are more likely to provide a warm, loving, secure environment for their children. Taking the time to improve the quality of our relationships can not only benefit us personally, but also can benefit our partner, the parent-child relationship and the children’s development.

Consider the following ways to keep your couple relationship fit.

Keep on dating

Schedule time alone with your mate when discussion about work, the children or daily issues are off limits. There is a time for discussing and solving problems, and there is a time for nurturing your relationship. Going on a date doesn’t have to be expensive. It can be taking a walk, gazing at the stars or window-shopping. The main thing is to take time to focus on each other. Talk about your dreams for the future, or laugh about fun times in your past. If childcare is an issue, you might take turns babysitting with another couple or let the children spend the night with friends or family.

Plan fun leisure activities

Research indicates that marital satisfaction is closely related to engaging in fun activities that provide communication. Find things that you both enjoy. Playing cards or tennis, or going dancing or bowling provides opportunities for conversation and interaction. If you choose to go to a movie, plan time afterward to discuss it.

Offer practical help

Everyone knows that child rearing can be exhausting and demanding. Couples can reduce stress for one another by sharing household chores, running errands, dividing childcare and being aware of the obligations and responsibilities each other is carrying.

Establish family rituals

Rituals have been shown to create and maintain strong relationships, family identity, meaning and security as well as to clarify roles and responsibilities in your family. Whether it’s holiday traditions, religious observances or daily meals and interactions, rituals are a great way to keep relationships strong.

Stay passionate

The practical details of daily life can bury passionate feelings under dirty diapers, chores, bills and stress. We can forget how special this person is and what made them stand out above all others. Passion can deepen for one another when we take the time to nurture physical intimacy, companionship and commitment to one another.

Work out conflict

Every relationship faces conflict. We can let walls go up, or we can learn to forgive, seek forgiveness, rebuild our trust and work through our issues. Take the time to calm down when you are upset, really listen and hear what is important to your partner and consider a solution agreeable to both of you.

Couples who devote energy to keeping their couple relationship fit are not being selfish or ignoring their children. They are promoting a healthy foundation for their family to grow together.

SOURCE:   Patti Faughn and Amy Griswold, University of Illinois Extension family life educators.