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Wife is worried that husband has lost interest in her.

Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC

Lynne is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice in Tampa, FL. Lynne received advanced, specialized training in sexual health and human sexuality from the Academy of Clinical Sexologists ... Read More About Lynne Santiago »

Have A Question For Lynne? Send our experts a note and we will be glad to assist you in anyway! Ask Us Here >

Q. Hello Lynn, I have been married for seven years and my husband is in the military and recently returned. When he was gone he came to visit for two weeks and the sex was great but now he pre-ejaculates and once he goes it takes about half an hour to forty five minutes. We both are twenty six and I worry because I feel like he has lost interest in me and when I see how he looks and is with other women, I notice he is not like that with me. I am worried and I really would appreciate knowing what you think.

When you say he recently returned, I am assuming you mean he had been deployed overseas, perhaps Iraq or Afghanistan.  It is difficult for me to really answer your question since I have so many other questions for you!!

If your husband was deployed in a region in which even the threat of danger is a constant then adjusting back to home life can be incredibly difficult.

I strongly recommend that you and your husband seek support from a counselor either through the military or a civilian therapist who has an understanding of the possible effects of military deployment and post traumatic stress on intimate relationships.   You may also check with your local VA office.  Some offer support groups for the spouses, which can help you in realizing that you are not alone, that others share your worries and you may get advice as to other support and counseling resources in your community.  
~ Lynne Angela Santiago, MS, LMHC
Licensed Psychotherapy & Consulting Services
SpicyGear Sex Ed Home | About Lynne | Ask Lynne Your Question Here

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