SpicyGear Blog - Sex Education Articles From The Spicy Girls at SpicyGear.com

You Are Here: SexEd Learning Center > Lynne's Advice Q & A > We haven't had sex in the last 3 and half years.

Buying Guides & How To  SexEd Buying Guide Feed

Advice for Couples New to Anal Sex

Anal sex for many couples is a big step in their relationship. It shows a sign of love and above all, trust.

Masturbation Aides For Men – It’s Not All About The Vibrator
When we think of sex toys, we think of your typical vibrator or dildo. However, there are a vast amount of products on the market specifically for men.
Sex Toys For Couples? Amazing Toys for Both To Share!
Are you looking to turn up the heat during bedroom play? These products will add a little zest to your most intimate moments with your lover.
Shopping For Bedroom Toys Without the Embarrassment
Shopping for your bedroom toys can be a difficult task for some people.
Powerful Sex Toys Without The Roar
Powerful sex toys are not necessarily as loud as lawn mowers. There are several vibrators on the market that we recommend that still generate the intense vibrations without the loud noise.

View More Guides »

Erogenous Zone Road Maps  SexEd Erogenous Zone Road Maps Feed

A Mans Guide to Finding Her G-Spot
Unlike men, women can orgasm several different ways, via clitoral, vaginal, or G-Spot stimulation.
Female ejaculation
Female ejaculation (also known colloquially as squirting or gushing) refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of clear fluid by human females from the paraurethral ducts and/or urethra during orgasm. The exact source of the fluid is debated, although some researchers believe it originates from the Skene's gland.
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

Here is a great video that may help you to find the most sensational erogenous zone. The G-Spot.

The Penis - A Road Map
The Penis Is a multipurpose organ responsible for sexual pleasure, reproduction, and the passage of both urine and semen the end of the penis is called the glans which contains the urethral opening that allows urine and semen to pass from the body.
The Vagina
Many women need clitoral stimulation during sex and many men have no idea where to find it. So there are a couple of things that need to be sorted out here.

View More Articles »

Better Sex & How To  SexEd Better Sex Feed

That Awful Sex Toy Smell
Q. “ I just received my brand new adult toy and it has an unusual smell to it. What do I Do?".
Introduction to Better Sex
The more you know about your body, the more fun you can have with it.
20 Tips On Reaching Orgasm
A common concern I hear from my female clients involves difficulty in reaching orgasm. Here are some hints that I have found to be helpful:
Kegal Exercises For Better Sex
A kegel is the name of a pelvic floor exercise, named after Dr. Kegel who discovered the exercise.
Feng Shui Your Love Life
If your love life is pretty non-existent, or your relationship seems to be going nowhere fast, then check out our guide to spring cleaning your love life with Feng Shui.

View More Articles »

The Latest Sex Related Headlines  The Latest Sex Related Headlines

Gauntlet Opinion: The sexiness of spots

Since the discovery of the G-spot, women everywhere have been trying to uncover the truth behind this mysterious and astonishing little body part. The Grafenberg spot was named after its official discoverer, gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg in 1944. If you pick up a book on tantric sex, however, you find that practitioners have been playing with this "sacred spot" for over a millennium.

101 Days of Sex: How One Married Couple 'Just Did It'

A married couple of 11 years decide to embark on a marathon of having sex for 101 consecutive days.

Sexually Frustrated And Married

A sexually frustrated woman comes to realize that she needed to make a change in her life.

FOXSexpert: The Joys of Summer Sex

What is it about the summer season that makes us more aroused?  Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc that discusses why we are more sexually charged during the summer months.

Sex Toy Evolution - More than Penis Shaped Vibrators

Examples of sex toys that you are unique in shape, and that are worth checking out.

View More Headlines »

We haven't had sex in the last 3 and half years.

Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC

Lynne is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice in Tampa, FL. Lynne received advanced, specialized training in sexual health and human sexuality from the Academy of Clinical Sexologists ... Read More About Lynne Santiago »

Have A Question For Lynne? Send our experts a note and we will be glad to assist you in anyway! Ask Us Here >

Q. I have been married to same man for 27 yrs. i love him but we haven't had sex in the last 3 and half yrs. he was hurt very badly in an accident breaking both of his legs putting him in a hospital bed for almost a year i understand that he has issues about his legs being hurt.

he has been on medication for such a long time i am not sure if i should ask him about touching me or just leave it at the room mate stage again i miss being held and told thank you for small things. enjoy sex a great deal i have been buying toys to play with for the last 3 yrs. i have gotten quite a collection he made comment about the new toy box. that is under my bed now. i can't fix this alone. i understand that just need to figure out how to start the process over with him. 27 yrs with one person you forget how to be sexy.

You are right. You can’t fix this alone. It sounds like you’ve been very understanding and empathetic toward your husband and you’ve been willing to put your needs aside for a while as he recovered. But there does come a time when your needs need to be recognized. It is always a good thing to have open communication with your partner about your intimate relationship. This involves being truthful about your sexual desires and needs. What I recommend is that you open the dialog with your husband and suggest spending some time in sensual play. This means no intercourse so the pressure is off to “perform”. It is possible that medications, particularly pain meds, may be affecting your husbands sexual desire and arousal. Taking the pressure off by spending time in erotic, sensual touching with out the goal of intercourse and orgasm can help you and your husband rebuild your intimate relationship. Spicygear offers a DVD titled “Tantric Message”. Watching this DVD with your husband would be an excellent way to open up the communication and learn new ways to pleasure each other.

~ Lynne Angela Santiago, MS, LMHC
Licensed Psychotherapy & Consulting Services
SpicyGear Sex Ed Home | About Lynne | Ask Lynne Your Question Here

Share This Article

Keywords

q and a, sex, better sex and how to, ... [+]

Other Recent Articles

For the last month or so I am lucky if i can get to touch me once a week. » - Hello my question is, When my boyfriend and I first met our sex life was amazing some times we do it several times in one night and we both would reach an orgasm each time. but lately for the last month or so I am lucky if i can get to touch me once a week and then we do it seems he reaches an orgasm and me left wanting more. I have tried different things to enhance our sex life talking, toys. I even tried videos but he says he is not really into them how can I get his or our passion for one another back on course.

«I'm totally infatuated with a friend of mine at work and she is straight. - I don't know if you'd be able to answer my question. It took me while to realize from my past sexual relationships that I am a lesbian. I've dated men and have had sex with them but I've never really had *orgasms*, I love the female body, and have made out with women during college and I've had more orgasms in one night than I have with the male relationships. I already have low self-esteem about my image but how would I go about *coming out* about being a lesbian when my family and friends expect me to marry a man? I don't know what to do? I'm totally infatuated with a friend of mine at work and she is straight. Help!