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Q. I have a question: My husband has been pushing me to have anal sex. I keep saying no. I am afraid that it will hurt. I am more afraid of what it will do to my insides over the long run. I see all of these anal toys so I can only assume that there must be some pleasure in it. He says that people have been doing it since the beginning of time and that obviously it shouldn't hurt me physically. Is there any chance of damage being caused to the rectum or colon after this type of sex? We have a wonderful sex life otherwise.
~ Mary B.

Dear Mary,

Many people incorporate anal sex into their love making. Research puts it at 20%-40% for heterosexuals. The sexual charge with anal stimulation is due to the fact that the anus is loaded with nerve endings. There can be pain and discomfort; however, particularly if the receiver is not relaxed. The sphincter muscles around the anus are geared for pressure from the inside out and reacts to pressure from the outside with a tightening response. (which makes this so pleasurable for the male). It can be an enjoyable experience for you but it would be best to talk with your husband before hand about some important things.

First, your husband needs to give you time to prepare yourself and relax. Have your husband gently stimulate you around the anal opening with his fingers or vibrator before penetration. Use plenty of lubricant. If you experience pain or discomfort, ask your husband to stop. You can try again another time. Once there is penetration, ask him to be easy on the thrusting. Very hard thrusting can be damaging to the anus and rectum. Add a vibrator or manual stimulation of your clitoris for a heightened experience.

Hygiene is a priority. It is best not to have vaginal penetration following anal penetration unless you both wash your genitals. Bacteria from the anus can be passed on to the vagina and urethra, causing infection. Use of a condom can also decrease the risk of infection.

Remember, sex is supposed to be fun!! With good communication and mutual respect, you and your husband can enhance your sexual relationship and heighten your sexual experiences!