Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC
Lynne is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice in Tampa, FL. Lynne received advanced, specialized training in sexual health and human sexuality from the Academy of Clinical Sexologists ... Read More About Lynne Santiago »
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Q. I have been with this girl for about six months. We have a decent sexual relationship but I think we are both very apprehensive. We both wait for the other person to make the first move. Well I am just looking for new ways to spice up our relationship. I bought a the ultimate jack rabbit and the diving dolphin toys from the site for christmas. She has never used them nor have I. I don't know how to introduce it. Also we are not into anal but I know that touching around the area is can add to the feelings? I don't want to shock her but do I just go for it or talk about it first. Thanks...
It sounds like you and your girl friend are in for a very fun and exciting Christmas! You mention that there is still some shyness around sex on both your parts—which is not surprising given the length of the relationship. These things take time and your sexual relationship is always evolving. You may want to feel her out a little, by suggesting to her that you explore a sex toy site, like spicygear.com, together. Observe her reaction to the things on the site, ask her questions about what seems appealing to her. Be honest with her about the things that turn you on or you are curious about. You mention that you are “not into anal” but it does sound like you are very curious and may be into it more than you know right now. It is true that the anal area and anus is very sexually responsive. The “diving dolphin” toy you purchased is perfect for stimulating her anus so if she hasn’t explored that possibility yet, she may be in for a delightful surprise!
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