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I heard that if you don't stimulate your Clitoris or have an orgasm by a certain point in your life you do damage to it..is that true?

Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC

Lynne is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) and Certified Sex Therapist with a private practice in Tampa, FL. Lynne received advanced, specialized training in sexual health and human sexuality from the Academy of Clinical Sexologists ... Read More About Lynne Santiago »

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Q. Hi, I just have a few questions I was wondering if I could get some feed back on. I heard that if you don't stimulate your Clitoris or have an orgasm by a certain point in your life you do damage to it..is that true? Because I am 23 and have never really experienced an orgasm or that sense of release and recently I have been been experiencing some pain and tenseness down there and now I feel as if there is something pressing on my bladder because I feel like I constantly have to urinate..I don't feel like this is normal..
Thank You, Megan T.

Hi Megan,
First, let me relieve you of any anxiety you may be feeling because of this myth. I know of no scientific reports that would confirm the idea that damaged is caused by lack of clitoral stimulation or orgasm. During the Victorian era, (1800’s) this was believed and, in fact, why vibrators were first invented. Medical doctors would use these specially made vibrators to stimulate their female “patient’s” vulvas as a way to treat “hysteria”. They didn’t view this practice as sexual, rather as a medical necessity to treat a “disorder”. You can see how far we have come in only a little over a hundred years…thankfully!!!

Now, what you may be experiencing is vasocongestion---the filling up of the blood vessels in your genitals with blood. This is very normal, part of the natural process of sexual arousal and the equivalent to “blue balls” some men may refer to when there hasn’t been sexual release in a long time. I would recommend you try using a vibrator to help you release the “pressure” as well as help you connect to the sensual experiences your body is capable of having. This will also help you learn about your body and how to experience orgasm, which will give you some confidence and know how later when in a relationship.

~ Lynne Angela Santiago, MS, LMHC
Licensed Psychotherapy & Consulting Services
SpicyGear Sex Ed Home | About Lynne | Ask Lynne Your Question Here

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