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Expert Advice From
Lynne Santiago
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Lynne Santiago MS, LMHC

Have A Question For Lynne? Send our experts a note and we will be glad to assist you in anyway! Ask Us Here >

Q. ME and my boyfriend have been dating for four years. At first the sex was great, but like in all rel ... Read More »
Q. Hi Lynn, i get so jealous of my boyfriends porno. I feel like he spends all of this time finding the ... Read More »
Q. Lynn, My husband and I have been married for 7 years and when we first started having sex I didn't e ... Read More »
Q. My spouse and I have been married nearly 10 years and we now only have sex one time a year. We are b ... Read More »
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Im 21 and he is 20 When we started dati ... Read More »
Q. I don't know if you'd be able to answer my question. It took me while to realize from my past sexual ... Read More »
Q. I have been married to same man for 27 yrs. i love him but we haven't had sex in the last 3 and half ... Read More »
Q. Hello my question is, When my boyfriend and I first met our sex life was amazing some times we do it ... Read More »
Q. Am 24 and have not had sex in more than 10 year.I decided to wait for the right partner. Recently I ... Read More »
Q. Hi! Sex with my wife has become nonexistent. Mainly my fault. I have become tired of satisfying her, ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, I'm not sure if you could answer this but.. when my boyfriend and i have sex a very l ... Read More »
Q. Hi Lynne, First I am 47 years old and my husband is 45. We have been married almost 2 years and l ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, I have never had an orgasm and can't figure out why. What does it feel like? Do you a ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, For as long as I remember, I've never ejaculated while having vaginal intercourse. I' ... Read More »
Q. I'm 21 and I have a small penis. It's about 4 inches long when hard. I'm scared to have sex because ... Read More »
Q. I have been diabetic for a few years now and even though I am on meds for it I have completely lost ... Read More »
Q. I have a question: My husband has been pushing me to have anal sex. I keep saying no. I am afraid th ... Read More »
Q. What is the correct way to perform cunnilingus? Or is there a basic technique that needs customizing ... Read More »
Q. I have been with this girl for about six months. We have a decent sexual relationship but I think we ... Read More »
Q. Lynne, ok, so i have heard many different things about having sex while on your period!! My question ... Read More »
Q. Hi, I just have a few questions I was wondering if I could get some feed back on. I heard that if yo ... Read More »
Q. My husband (age 50) died 2 yrs ago in October. We were married nearly 30 years. I was hoping that my ... Read More »
Q. Dear Lynne, At 55 (me) and 52, my wife & I still enjoy sex, but she gets a urinary infection eve ... Read More »
Q. Q. I’m having an embarrassing problem. My Vagina seems to get dry during intercourse, and it becomes ... Read More »
Q. My boyfriend disapproves using a vibrator. Is it bad to use it at all? ~ N.B. ... Read More »
Q. I have discovered that my clitoris has gotten smaller or shrinking. Have you ever heard of such a th ... Read More »
Q. I have been with this girl for about six months. We have a decent sexual relationship but I think we ... Read More »
Q. How normal is it to be attracted to or fantasize about other people? ... Read More »
Q. Is there any advice on how to get over a sex addition or a way to convince my husband that he has a ... Read More »
Q. Does a man's & woman's pheromone need to match to become excited by each other or is it just the sme ... Read More »
Q. Hello Lynn, I have been married for seven years and my husband is in the military and recently retur ... Read More »
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for 8 1/2 years. When we started to have sex, every time we did i ... Read More »

Women who love to watch porn

    Posted by Jennifer Amato on 06/13/2007

Porn once meant a magazine under a mattress or videos passed between schoolboys. Now, all you need is a computer and a credit card to view your ultimate fantasy in seconds.

As a result, increasing numbers of men admit they are compulsive users ? and that their girlfriends are disgusted with their addiction.

But a new book, One For The Girls!, by Clarissa Smith, senior lecturer in media and cultural studies at the University of Sunderland, claims that not all women are repelled by porn.

In fact, it's the opposite; women, says Smith, are new consumers. 'In the past, we had access issues but today there are many more women-friendly sex shops that cater to all tastes,' she says. 'Before, we would never go to the newsagent and reach for the top shelf.'

Of course, Smith also acknowledges that today's women are a different breed:

'We have higher expectations of what we're entitled to and know that an orgasm is our right; we don't just have sex with our husband to keep him happy. We have sexual feelings and want to find means of having them.'

Members' clubs

But are women really sitting at home watching porn on their laptops and TVs?

According to analysts Nielsen NetRatings, they are. A 2006 survey found the number of women downloading Internet porn had soared to 1.4million.

A quick search on Google reveals numerous porn sites aimed at women. One offers images of 'hot men', horoscopes and romantic stories. Hardly hardcore.

But scroll down the page and you'll find a huge photo gallery of naked ? and aroused ? men.

Simply a visual aid

Julia, 31, from East London, admits she has recently started viewing porn: 'I bought some DVDs to watch with my boyfriend but I have started to watch them on my own.

I only do it if my flatmate is out; I'd be really embarrassed if she knew what was going on in my bedroom.

To me, they're simply a visual aid and no reflection of my sex life or my relationship.'

In Smith's book, which focuses on an erotic magazine, For Women, one woman, Jane, finds porn helps get her in the mood for her weekend:

'I often use the magazine as a turn-on for masturbation or as a prelude for sex. Sometimes, before going out for an evening, I'll look through some mags until I become excited, which can often leave me sexually aroused for hours. If my date does not go as planned, I still have them when I get home.'

Kelly, 26, from Brighton, also needs help to get in the mood:

'Most men can get an erection pretty quickly while women prefer to be seduced, romanced and, if we're lucky, even get a bit of foreplay. A quickie is good every now and again but I like to be turned on first. Porn sometimes helps.'

Anna Span, 35, is a porn director from London and has films such as Hoxton Honey and Eat Me/Keep Me under her belt.

She says that women have always had an interest in porn: 'The fact that we were so enraged about it in the first place was indicative of a certain desire for it.

I was anti-porn but then realised my anger was jealousy.

Men's sexuality was being catered for and ours wasn't.'

Porn with a plot

But regardless of desire, Span says women still expect a certain quality: 'My films are different because they feature good-looking men and I spend a lot of time auditioning for them. I use good styling and good casting. Some of the films are like soap operas because women like to hear about other people's lives.

I mix fantasy with reality and don't market my films by body type, such as ?big tits?, simply because women are less likely to think like that.'

So we know what we like and don't like but is society ready for us? Probably not, says Smith: 'Women who admit to enjoying porn do feel guilty about enjoying sex without the love and romance and do worry that they're sluts.

They think they shouldn't be enjoying it so, on that basis, we still have a long way to go.' In the meantime, there's no harm in looking?

SOURCE: Lisa Scott, metro.co.uk

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