Sex Toys, Adult Toys and Vibrators for Women Store

Buying Guides & How To

Erogenous Zone Road Maps

  • Prostate Stimulation - Finding The Male G-Spot

    Prostate Stimulation - Finding The Male G-Spot ... More »

  • Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

    Here is a great video that may help you to find the most sensational erogenous zone. The G-Spot. ... More »

  • Female ejaculation

    Female ejaculation (also known colloquially as squirting or gushing) refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of clear fluid by human females from the paraurethral ducts and/or urethra during orgasm. The exact source of the fluid is debated, ... More »

  • The Penis - A Road Map

    The Penis Is a multipurpose organ responsible for sexual pleasure, reproduction, and the passage of both urine and semen the end of the penis is called the glans which contains the urethral opening that allows urine and semen to pass from the body ... More »

  • The Vagina

    Many women need clitoral stimulation during sex and many men have no idea where to find it. So there are a couple of things that need to be sorted out here. ... More »
  • View More » | Get the Feed

Better Sex & How To

  • Stimulating the Clitoris

    The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Some women are unable to achieve an orgasm without stimulating this very sensitive area.  The clitoris contains over 8000 nerve endings, and similiar to to penis, becomes filled w ... More »

  • Become the Ultimate Lover

    Being a great lover is not about your size or how long you can last.  It is about the entire experience.  Some men feel more compelled to just get right to the act of sexual intercourse, assuming that is enough to satisfy his partner.&nb ... More »

  • Vibrators - A Solution to Achieving An Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse

    Studies show that less than 50% of women can achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse alone, myself being among them.  This can cause tension and potentially ruin a relationship.  If you are among the women who are unable to achieve a ... More »

  • Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Relationship

    Incorporating sex toys in your relationship can improve your sex life and bring couples closer together. If you have been pondering the idea of using a sex toy with your partner, you may not know how to introduce one into the relationship. First o ... More »

  • Talking to your Doctor about better sex

    The World Health Organization, when addressing what constitutes sexual health, includes not only reproduction and disease, but also the “possibility of having pleasurable experiences”. ... More »
  • View More » | Get the Feed

We now only have sex one time a year.

Posted by John Fidi on 08/01/2007 in Lynne's Advice Q & A

Bookmark and Share    Tags: q and a, sex, sex toys,

My spouse and I have been married nearly 10 years and we now only have sex one time a year. We are both at fault. I don't know why he doesn't want to, but I'm just not turned on. He never leaves me satisfied. So now I have decided to get a vibrator. I am embarrassed to say that I have no clue how to use one. Any tips?

No need to worry. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know how to use the “i Vibe Rocket Vibrator” (which you can purchase online at spicygear.com) or any vibrator that matter. But by the sound of your post there may be other important points to make here that may help you in your quest for self pleasure. I think it may be important for you to begin with some lessons on how truly sensual your body is and ways to get your fire started through self pleasuring. What I mean by this is not just simply giving you step by step instructions on how to get off fast, but encouraging you to take the time to grow in your sexuality by learning about your body. When you’ve done this you will be better able to teach your husband. So to start lets forget about orgasm for a moment and focus on experiencing a build up of erotic feelings through sensate focused exercises. Learning how to get out of your head and be present in the “now” of what your body is experiencing is the key to heightened pleasure. There are some who have mastered this skill so much that they can climax with out any direct genital stimulation at all (lucky for them!!!).

Realize that your WHOLE body is capable of experiencing erotic sensations! Take some time focusing on things like how the warm water in the shower feels as it streams down on your head, back, breasts. Focus on the sounds you hear, the scents you smell. Slow down when eating and allow your mouth, tongue, nose the full experience of textures, tastes and smells. This is what sensuality is about! Then, take sometime in private, with vibrator in hand, and experiment by moving it along all different parts of your body…inner thighs, along your arms, next, stomach. Take your time. Take deep breaths. Attend to your body. If you notice chatter going on in your head--Stop. Breathe. And re-focus back to your body. You may move the vibrator toward your vulva but don’t go any further. Stop.

Before moving on it would be a good idea to get more intimate with your intimate parts. Get your self a hand held mirror and take a look at your genital area. When’s the last time you did that? Funny how guys get to look at their pleasure apparatus every day (several times a day, in fact), yet women very rarely do and may have been sternly discouraged from taking a peek since early childhood. Go ahead. Don’t be shy! Get your hands on a diagram or photo image of the female genitals that names all the parts. I found a pretty simple and clear one at: http://img.search.com/thumb/f/f5/HumanVulva-NewText-PhiloViv.jpg/350px-HumanVulva-NewText-PhiloViv.jpg . Get acquainted. Touch yourself. Say their names.

Once you’ve gotten a good ‘feel’ for what that part of your body is all about, repeat the above exercise with the vibrator. Again, take some time to explore your whole body, but then allow your vibrator to spend some time lingering around your genital area. Don’t go straight for the clitoris. If you are not adequately aroused, direct stimulation to the clitoris can be uncomfortable. Remember--If you hear that chatter going on in your head, drawing your attention away, take a step back, a long with a deep breathe. Then refocus onto all the fabulous sensations your body is experiencing.

Once you become more comfortable using your vibrator invite your husband to join you as you self pleasure. Men love to watch. Add to the fun by using it on him. And don’t forget to show him what gets you hot so he can take charge of that pulsating toy and bring you the satisfaction you’ve been so longing for.

Topics

Blog Roll

Spicy Ladies Blogs

Spicy Guy Blogs