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Erogenous Zone Road Maps

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  • Female ejaculation

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  • The Penis - A Road Map

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Better Sex & How To

  • Stimulating the Clitoris

    The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Some women are unable to achieve an orgasm without stimulating this very sensitive area.  The clitoris contains over 8000 nerve endings, and similiar to to penis, becomes filled w ... More »

  • Become the Ultimate Lover

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  • Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Relationship

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  • Talking to your Doctor about better sex

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We haven't had sex in the last 3 and half years.

Posted by Kim Fidi on 06/01/2007 in Lynne's Advice Q & A

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I have been married to same man for 27 yrs. i love him but we haven't had sex in the last 3 and half yrs. he was hurt very badly in an accident breaking both of his legs putting him in a hospital bed for almost a year i understand that he has issues about his legs being hurt. he has been on medication for such a long time i am not sure if i should ask him about touching me or just leave it at the room mate stage again i miss being held and told thank you for small things. enjoy sex a great deal i have been buying toys to play with for the last 3 yrs. i have gotten quite a collection he made comment about the new toy box. that is under my bed now. i can't fix this alone. i understand that just need to figure out how to start the process over with him. 27 yrs with one person you forget how to be sexy.

You are right. You can’t fix this alone. It sounds like you’ve been very understanding and empathetic toward your husband and you’ve been willing to put your needs aside for a while as he recovered. But there does come a time when your needs need to be recognized. It is always a good thing to have open communication with your partner about your intimate relationship. This involves being truthful about your sexual desires and needs. What I recommend is that you open the dialog with your husband and suggest spending some time in sensual play. This means no intercourse so the pressure is off to “perform”. It is possible that medications, particularly pain meds, may be affecting your husbands sexual desire and arousal. Taking the pressure off by spending time in erotic, sensual touching with out the goal of intercourse and orgasm can help you and your husband rebuild your intimate relationship. Spicygear offers a DVD titled “Tantric Message”. Watching this DVD with your husband would be an excellent way to open up the communication and learn new ways to pleasure each other.