Sex Toys, Adult Toys and Vibrators for Women Store

Buying Guides & How To

Erogenous Zone Road Maps

  • Prostate Stimulation - Finding The Male G-Spot

    Prostate Stimulation - Finding The Male G-Spot ... More »

  • Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot

    Here is a great video that may help you to find the most sensational erogenous zone. The G-Spot. ... More »

  • Female ejaculation

    Female ejaculation (also known colloquially as squirting or gushing) refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of clear fluid by human females from the paraurethral ducts and/or urethra during orgasm. The exact source of the fluid is debated, ... More »

  • The Penis - A Road Map

    The Penis Is a multipurpose organ responsible for sexual pleasure, reproduction, and the passage of both urine and semen the end of the penis is called the glans which contains the urethral opening that allows urine and semen to pass from the body ... More »

  • The Vagina

    Many women need clitoral stimulation during sex and many men have no idea where to find it. So there are a couple of things that need to be sorted out here. ... More »
  • View More » | Get the Feed

Better Sex & How To

  • Stimulating the Clitoris

    The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman's body. Some women are unable to achieve an orgasm without stimulating this very sensitive area.  The clitoris contains over 8000 nerve endings, and similiar to to penis, becomes filled w ... More »

  • Become the Ultimate Lover

    Being a great lover is not about your size or how long you can last.  It is about the entire experience.  Some men feel more compelled to just get right to the act of sexual intercourse, assuming that is enough to satisfy his partner.&nb ... More »

  • Vibrators - A Solution to Achieving An Orgasm During Sexual Intercourse

    Studies show that less than 50% of women can achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse alone, myself being among them.  This can cause tension and potentially ruin a relationship.  If you are among the women who are unable to achieve a ... More »

  • Introducing Sex Toys Into Your Relationship

    Incorporating sex toys in your relationship can improve your sex life and bring couples closer together. If you have been pondering the idea of using a sex toy with your partner, you may not know how to introduce one into the relationship. First o ... More »

  • Talking to your Doctor about better sex

    The World Health Organization, when addressing what constitutes sexual health, includes not only reproduction and disease, but also the “possibility of having pleasurable experiences”. ... More »
  • View More » | Get the Feed

I have become tired of satisfying my wife, and not receiving the same satisfaction back.

Posted by Kim Fidi on 04/01/2007 in Lynne's Advice Q & A

Bookmark and Share    Tags: q and a, sex, better sex and how to,

Hi! Sex with my wife has become nonexistent. Mainly my fault. I have become tired of satisfying her, and not receiving the same satisfaction back. Simply put, she doesn't try to excite me at all. I have grown bitter and refuse to continue with this charade. Taking care of her when it isn't returned sucks. She never touches me, period. It's as if I don't exist. Oral sex, Hell No! First it was she didn't like the taste, well I don't know how she could say that unless it was with someone else, as she didn't taste me, Duh? I bought rubbers, but then she said it hurt her neck and stopped in the middle. Refusing to try a different position. She is not open to anything new, and now claims she asked her sister about oral, who replied it's unnatural and nobody does that. Every woman I was with prior to her, enjoyed doing that for me. I guess I have to either leave her or find a girl friend, which she has accused me of because I refuse to satisfy her anymore.

Countless discussions have only turned into arguments. Any other ideas before I leave? I have had enough of this one sided relationship.
~ Thanks Neal

Hello, Neal.
It saddens me when I hear stories such as yours because the sexual component of a love partnership is so important yet often suffers in silence. Couples can go on for years ignoring the problems in their sexual relationship resulting in an erosion of the bond between them.  Such erosion seems to have happened in your case to a point where you are willing to consider ending the marriage.

There are so many factors that can lead to the circumstances you describe. There is a difference between sexual desire and arousal.  A woman may have low desire but is capable of experiencing arousal and orgasm with adequate stimulation.  I believe you are describing low desire in your wife.  In other words, her appetite for sex is low which would account for her disinterest.  Arousal may only be adequate enough for generalized "satisfaction" but not enough to motivate her to be more active in the process.

For women, arousal and desire can be effected by dissatisfaction in the level of emotional intimacy in the relationship, stress, fatigue, difficulties integrating the contrasting roles of mother and lover, religious beliefs and past sexual trauma.  Also, there are medical factors to consider such as diabetes, thyroid, hysterectomy, menopause, depression, or if she is taking medications for certain medical conditions (i.e. depression, hypertension).

Before you walk out, I recommend that you try to talk openly with her about how you feel, what your needs are, and your thoughts regarding ending the marriage.  Express to her your desire to improve the relationship so to avoid a divorce and then seek couples therapy with a qualified sex therapist.  My wishes for you is that you and your wife are willing to face your challenges together.  Things can improve. There is hope!!!