Posted by Amanda Delcuadro on 04/21/2008 in Erogenous Zone Road Map
Female ejaculate is a fluid that is expelled from the body through the urethra during sexual activities. When released in small quantities it may be a mucous like fluid having a clear, milky, or yellowish coloration. As the volume of the expelled fluid increases it becomes like clear water. In small quantities it may have a distinct scent that is musky or pungent but when the fluid increases in volume and becomes clear there is no longer a detectable scent. The fluid contains PSA and PAP, which are produced in the female prostate. Some of the components found in it, urea and creatinine, are also found in urine, but in much lower concentrations than are found in regular urine. When female prostatic fluids are found in urine they are in much smaller concentrations than in present in female ejaculate. The fluid released during ejaculation and urination are not the same though they may share some of the same substances. As the volume and appearance of female ejaculate changes it is likely that its composition changes too.Women who expel fluid during orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and even taste, varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person to taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange body fluids but not for couples needing to practice safe sex.) Some have found their menstrual cycle influences the type of fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an affect on it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. Some women report it is sometimes clear and odorless and other times thick and pungent. Others report it sometimes looks and smells like urine, which I have found to be true only when a woman tries too hard to ejaculate. It is safe to say most women's ejaculate will vary over time and during a single sexual episode.
Given that all women have a prostate gland they all likely produce ejaculate, even if they are not aware of it. The fluid may seep out and mix unnoticed with other body fluids rather than being a distinctive gush of liquid during sexual activity. The prostate probably contributes regularly to the moisture present at the vulva, as indicated by the presence of PAP on their underwear. In the absence of or in conjunction with sexual arousal the prostate may overflow causing the fluid to seep out through the urethra. This release of fluid could be caused by the blood engorgement of the surrounding tissues and the pressures placed on the vaginal wall during sexual arousal and internal stimulation. The fluid in the prostate would likely be released or expelled during orgasm when the pelvic muscles contract. While the volume of ejaculate released may vary from woman to woman it is likely present in all women, and they do not have voluntary control over its release.
The Importance of Clitoral Stimulation!
The clitoris probably holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused. If she is not highly aroused her prostate may not fill with increased amounts of fluid. If her prostate is not swollen she may not have a G-Spot. If her clitoris is not stimulated she is less likely to experience orgasm and the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the ejaculate. So quite simply before you can go exploring for the G-Spot you must master clitoral stimulation beforehand. There are women who are orgasmic and ejaculate when their G-Spot or vagina alone is stimulated but the majority need direct clitoral stimulation if they are to experience orgasm.
Now that you know the location of the female prostate you will want to know how to stimulate it. The most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm but flexible and have feeling and provide feedback. For solo explorers fingers have their limitations, as they may not be long enough and can tire relatively quickly. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your clitoris it limits access to your vagina with your other hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required for finding and stimulating the G-Spot. (I will refer to both vibrators and dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos' not the singular 'dildo', as there is a chance you may have to try several different dildos to find the best one for you.
How do you pick out a dildo for G-Spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos that do have a good success rate are those that are curved near the tip, called G-Spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the junction of the glans and shaft. Many women find hard plastic or glass dildos work best. Others find that makeshift dildos work great; such things as cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Some prefer a slim dildo that they direct at a specific area within their vagina but others prefer their vagina to be filled and stretched to the maximum by a large dildo. If you are going to buy a dildo to use for G-Spot stimulation be prepared to buy and try a couple different styles. Any woman who is seriously considering using dildos needs to be aware that she will most likely have a collection of favorites versus one special one. As a woman's mood and needs change so will her dildo needs. While women often start out with one many soon find they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections.
Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting liquid from their bladder rather ejaculating fluid from their prostate. This is because both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to surrender control and relax during orgasm. If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles you cannot release liquid from your bladder or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to release fluid from your bladder. You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the intense physical sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.
Learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier when alone than when a partner is present. You will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the bathtub has some advantages. First you do not have to worry about the wetness, second soaking in warm water will help relax you, and third cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water a short while before starting; allow your bladder to fill. It does not need to feel full, but you do not want it to be empty either. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina only provide a feeling of pressure inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point of orgasm the stronger the urge to empty your bladder is likely to become. Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold the contents of your bladder a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the liquid escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the liquid, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt liquid from your bladder. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with the release. Scream "YES."
Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique. Empty your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be the result of a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation of your prostate or urethra. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina; using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes. Massaging the urethral meatus may feel pleasant. Stimulating your urethra may cause you to feel the need to release liquid from your bladder and this is desired. Do not fight the urge, go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.
If you find a spot that is highly sensitive you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate directly. If your G-Spot is highly sensitive you may find you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up with lots of teasing may help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs relax your bladder and press out as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice even if you are able to squirt liquid from your bladder during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate so you just have to experiment. In any event it should be a pleasurable experience.
A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating she should let her partner know, not pray that it will not happen again. She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations as desirable and erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying to ejaculate, that is because they will not stop the stimulation unless you tell them too. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using a "safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull away you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your partner, as they need to be forceful without going to far.
How do you stimulate your partner's prostate? Your hands are excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come toward you. You turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing with two fingers inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening back inside two inches. Start out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide. Use a generous amount of lubrication even if she is dripping wet.
Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her prostate. Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G-Spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase. If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out but rather press in gently.
You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires more verbal communication, as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the dildo to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation even if that is not the intent.
A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What seems to work the best are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even trying, while others may find it a challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual massage. Practice makes perfect.
Unfortunately, there can be some possible negative side effects associated with massaging the urethra. The urethra is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse can irritate a woman's urethra resulting in painful urination and infection. This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic muscles, as they are too tight and there is too much friction between their vagina and the thrusting penis or dildo. Intentionally stimulating the urethra increases the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit of liquid from your bladder before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They also recommend women drink cranberry juice, or take a cranberry supplement available at health food stores, as its acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try using less pressure when massaging or stimulating the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation with time, but do not torture yourself or inflict multiple infections. Have fun but do not hurt yourself.