How To Keep the Flame Alive In Your Relationship
Posted by Jennifer Amato on 02/09/2011 in General SexEd Articles
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When you first start dating someone, there is a period of what sometimes people call the 'honeymoon phase.' Your relationship is new. This is the period of time filled with excitement, curiosity, and getting to know one another. What about after the so called honeymoon period? As your relationship becomes more serious, and possibly has led to marriage, you reach the part in your relationship when things can get too comfortable, and sometimes, you and your partner may feel that the excitement part of your relationship has dwindled. The butterflies that were in your stomach when you first started dating may feel as if they have flown away.
At times, your relationship may go through periods where everything feels so routine. You and your partner come home from work, have dinner, watch tv, and then go to sleep. Then, the same routine happens the next day. Your sex life may not be as exciting or adventurous as it used to be. Maybe you are even lucky if you engage in any type of intimacy over the course of a week. In the back of your mind, your once exciting relationship feels more like a roommate relationship.
Communication is very important to any successful relationship. It is imperative to be able to talk to your partner about your feelings. Be honest. Do not let your frustrations or anger build up, as then you can unintentionally take your frustrations or negative feelings out on your partner. If you are able to openly communicate with your partner, you will be able to address any feelings that may have been bothering your and work to resolve them. Listening is also a huge part of communication. Listen to what your partners feelings are and be respectful. Try to be understanding and not jump to the defensive.
Compliment and Appreciate Each Other. Cleaning the house is not one of my favorite things to do, but it has to be done. When my partner says, 'The house looks great," or, "Thank you for taking care of my laundry," that means a lot to me. When someone feels appreciated, it makes a huge positive difference on his or her overall mood. When it comes to complimenting, you may not be the type of person that feels comfortable with giving or receiving compliments. However, even just saying simple things like "you look great," or noticing little things such as a new haircut or outfit can show
your partner how much you care.
Make time for one another. Between work, kids, school, chores, bills, and whatever life may bring, your every day lives can be so busy that by the end of the day, all you want to do is crash and go to sleep. The level of intimacy between you and your partner may just be a quick kiss goodnight and a quick kiss or hug goodbye in the morning. Spending quality time with your partner is so important. Arrange for one night of the week that is devoted to you and your partner. Make it your date night where you go out to dinner and a movie. You need this special time with one another.
Be spontaneous. You do not have to shower one another with gifts. Sometimes, a random sweet note saying "I love you" or just saying simple words of affection can brighten up your partner's day. It is the thought that counts. Simple gestures can go a long way. For example, maybe you bring home a cup of their favorite coffee and say, "thought you might enjoy some of your favorite coffee," that shows a lot of consideration and thought which is so important in a relationship as well.
Plan A Weekend Getaway. If you are unable to take a long vacation, plan a short weekend getaway. There are plenty of local spots such as bed and breakfast locations, hotels by the beach, etc that can serve as a nice romantic trip.
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