When a Sex Toy Becomes Your Secret Lover
Posted by Jennifer Amato on 12/21/2007 in General SexEd Articles
Tags:
orgasm,
sex,
relationships,
vibrators,
masturbation,
A few months ago, I had a conversation with a customer; I will call her Amy, about purchasing a new sex toy. Amy was looking to purchase a new vibrator, and needed one that was going to be extremely powerful and give her a quick orgasm. She just wanted instant satisfaction. So, there were several products that I had recommended to her such as the Hitachi Magic Wand, which are one of the most powerful vibrators. I had told her that it has two speeds, and could probably get her to achieve an orgasm within two minutes. Needless to say, Amy ended up making the purchase.
Amy is married, but bottom line, her husband is not satisfying her in the bedroom. Apparently from what she had communicated to me, her husband seems more about just getting to the main course and achieving his own release. They do not engage in a lot of foreplay. However, Amy has difficulty achieving an orgasm from just sexual intercourse. That said she is left unsatisfied. I suggested to her that she talk to her husband about their sex life. However, she stated that she had tried on several occasions, and her husband seemed to either get defensive or just overlooks her feelings. So, like many other women, she is left feeling very frustrated. So, this is where the vibrator comes into play. Instead of cheating on her husband, Amy stated that she just uses a vibrator to achieve orgasm since she is unable to have one just from intercourse alone. Amy takes advantage of the time when he is out of the house, even if it is only to go to the store for a moment, to give her some sexual satisfaction. As soon as he leaves, she quickly goes to her special hiding place for her toy, uses it on herself, and then quickly hides it.
Advice to Men Out There… A high percentage of women are unable to achieve an orgasm from sexual intercourse alone. Listen to what your significant other has to say. It may sound like she is having an orgasm, but her screams and moans may be worthy of an Oscar. She may be afraid to hurt your feelings. If your woman is not feeling satisfied, do not take it as a shot to your ego. For Amy’s particular situation, she wanted to incorporate more foreplay utilizing oral sex and taking more time to build up to the main course. Do not make her feel that something is wrong with her just because she is unable to have an orgasm from just sexual intercourse. Take it as a compliment when your partner wants to take time to enjoy and explore each other. It is important and healthy in a relationship to be able to communicate about what each other is feeling, especially when it comes to intimacy. If you are able to communicate with one another and truly listen to each other’s feelings and frustrations, your relationship will become even stronger and more fulfilling for both of you.
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